


The Kiss-Cam

by Snegurochka



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-17
Updated: 2008-03-17
Packaged: 2017-10-10 23:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/105473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snegurochka/pseuds/Snegurochka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every Quidditch match, the Kiss-Cam roves around looking for kissing couples in the crowd to project onto the magical screen near the scoreboard. Straight couples, that is. Sirius is not amused.</p><p>3,200 words. PG-13. Meta poorly disguised as fic. March 2008.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kiss-Cam

A sunny day, ace seats in the Quidditch stands and the promise of James's stash of Ogden's for the party after the match. Life could not get any better than this, Sirius decided.

"Bloody hell! Would you _look_ at McLaren already? Barely two minutes in, and he's already trying to knock James's head off with that Bludger! Did you see, Lil? Honestly. _Where_ is the referee? I can't believe they let him just– there! He did it again!"

Sirius clenched his jaw. A sunny day, a perfect Quidditch match, and right on cue: Remus Lupin, the least athletic person Sirius had ever met, pointing out all the astonishingly unfair parts of the game.

"I saw, Remus," said Lily, rolling her eyes and nudging Sirius with her left elbow. They grinned, gazing back up at the sky as Remus chattered from Sirius's other side, openly appalled at the way the defence was blocking the Keeper, and the way the poor, embattled Gryffindor Chaser was forced to actually fend off a few players in his quest for the Quaffle and the goalposts.

"Careful," whispered Sirius, leaning to his left and letting his lips hover over Remus's ear. "I might start to think it's Prongs you want to shag, since you're so terribly concerned about him up there."

Remus grinned, pulling his lower lip under his teeth and glancing over at Sirius, pushing their shoulders together. "I think I've got my hands full with you, thanks."

"Sure about that?" Sirius moved his thigh to better line it up with Remus's, except that was a bad idea, because the proximity of thighs and shoulders and whispered words hovering over the lickable shells of ears was making him forget about the match entirely and drift back to the previous afternoon, locked in a sweltering broom cupboard with Remus and grunting with him, sweaty palms moving over smooth skin. "Because I could always convince you a bit more, you know. Maybe I could even–"

"Goal for Gryffindor!" The announcer's voice startled Sirius and he paused before jumping to his feet with the rest of his section and applauding wildly, whistling through his fingers as Remus clapped him on the shoulder.

"Maybe you could," Remus murmured to him, grinning again, and _dammit_, why did he have to grin like that, out in the open where anyone could see, _knowing_ that his stupid grin only made Sirius want to lick it off his face, transform the curve of his lips from that pleased, self-satisfied look of mischief into a gasping _Oh_, head thrown back and Sirius's name falling from his mouth. He cleared his throat and sat down again, refocusing on the game.

"Oh, for God's sake," Lily muttered beside him, and he glanced over at her to find her pointing up to the scoreboard. "It's that stupid device of Marlene's again, that camera McGonagall lets her use to 'entertain the crowd' at matches." She rolled her eyes.

"I've not seen it before," said Sirius with a frown.

"Well, you don't normally come to Hufflepuff matches, do you?" Lily punched him in the arm, laughing.

"Ah," he allowed, shrugging. "Well, not like there's usually much to see. Sodding Hufflepuffs'd rather invite the other team over for tea than beat their arses on the pitch."

Lily snickered.

"So what's it do, then?" He squinted at the projected image underneath the scoreboard. "Can't really see what the problem – oh, _ew_." He pulled a face and gagged. "If I wanted to see _that_, I'd follow you and Prongs on rounds, then, wouldn't I? God." He winced. "Going to be sick now."

"What are you doing?" Remus had turned back to them after chatting with a group of students down the row. He followed Sirius and Lily's eyes to the screen. "Oh, that." He shrugged. "Yeah. Hufflepuffs love it."

"If I see Peter and his bird snogging on that thing, that's it, I'm leaving."

"Where are they, anyway?" Lily craned her neck around, and Sirius rolled his eyes, putting on a feminine, mock-Peter voice.

"'You don't mind if I sit with Heather, do you, Padfoot? It's just, she's got such awfully big tits, and I really want a go under the stands later.'"

Remus leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, and dropped his head, snickering.

"I _know_ Heather," moaned Lily, "and I don't know _what_ she's doing with him. Oh my God, I know he's your friend and all, but the thought of _that_ pawing at me under the stands?" She shuddered.

"No friend of mine," said Sirius. "Stupid wanker gave me up to McGonagall last week after a solid _four seconds_ of intense questioning." He shook his head sadly, rocking sideways into Remus with his shoulder.

Remus smiled at him, and then pointed back up at the screen. "You're safe for now, looks like. They're going for Gryffindor couples, not mixed-House."

"Well, that's good, at least. Can't be seen fraternising with the enemy while the enemy's up there, trying to catch your Snitch."

Remus swallowed down a grin, eyeing him sideways. "You know you're leaving me wide open on that one, right?"

"I'll tell you how wide open I want you," said Sirius, punching him playfully, and Remus's eyes went wide.

"Oh yeah? I bloody dare you!"

"You just wait, Moony. I'm going to–"

"_Shut_ it," said Lily, giving the pair of them a mighty shove before directing her attention back to the pitch. "You know how James whinged last time when he scored but you didn't see it because you were rooting in your pockets for Dung-bombs."

Sirius smiled. Not Dung-bombs, precisely. He glanced at Remus, who was turning a rather attractive shade of pink. Rooting in his pocket for Remus's _hand_, more like, and while there were an awful lot of things Lily knew, where he and Remus were concerned, he didn't see any reason for her to know about _that _event, per se.

"Goal for Gryffindor!" the announcer boomed again, and they jumped to their feet once more, shouting and clapping as James flew by and flashed them a brilliant smile, as though he'd scored the goal himself, which he hadn't.

"Oh, ew. Look, they're at it again. After each goal, it seems like." Lily pointed to the scoreboard, currently featuring a pair of Hufflepuff sixth-years shyly pecking at each other.

"Is that Carmichael?" Sirius squinted. "God, she sits near me in Potions. Smells like onions all the time." He paused. "Who's she with, though?"

Remus snickered. "Williams."

Sirius's mouth fell open, and Lily glanced between them. "What?" she asked.

Sirius ignored her. "_Williams_?" He stared at the screen again. "No _way_. He wouldn't snog a girl if you gave him a hundred Galleons!"

"Why?" she asked eagerly. "What's wrong with him?"

"Well, nothing's _wrong_ with him, exactly–" said Remus, still laughing.

"–except that he spent most of our sixth year trying to snog _Remus_ here," finished Sirius, grinning at Lily.

"_Trying_ being the operative word, of course," confirmed Remus, folding his hands in his lap, and Lily shrieked with delight, her eyes flying back up to the screen, where poor Williams had his eyes squeezed shut while Carmichael attempted to push her tongue between his clamped lips.

"Well, what's he doing, trying to snog a bird, then?" she asked, turning back to the boys.

Remus shrugged. "Camera fell on him, probably, and she was sitting there, and that whole section was cheering them on. What's a bloke to do?"

"A bloke's to snog who he wants to snog, that's what," said Sirius, his forehead creasing as his temper rose. He glanced around, appraising the situation. "Look: we're sitting here, okay, and if you turn away–" he paused to grab Remus's shoulders and turn him the other direction, where he obediently pretended to look for a quill in his bag – "then it's just me and Evans, and–"

She laughed. "Who's going to think we're here together? Everyone knows I'm James–"

"–Potter's girl, yeah, you think that, but maybe they don't, right? Who the hell knows what they think? So, just, play along, would you?" He glared at her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Fine."

"Right. So, I'm chatting with Evans–" he ducked his head down and she followed him, bringing their foreheads together as though in intimate conversation – "and that bloody camera comes over here and decides we're a pair, and before you know it, we're up on that screen for the whole pitch to see, and what the fuck do we do?"

Remus turned back around to face them, chewing on his bottom lip as Lily pulled back from Sirius, dropping her eyes down his body and back up, grinning. "Well," she said with a shrug and a mischievous smile, "I could probably be persuaded to snog you. For Gryffindor solidarity, and all that."

Remus grinned at her.

"Ew. _No_," said Sirius, stamping his feet. "Wrong answer! Of course you want to snog me, that's not the problem." He looked back and forth between Remus and Lily, alarmed now that they didn't seem to be grasping this. "The _problem_," he continued, "is that _I_ don't want to snog _you_."

Lily sat back and pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. "You wound me, Mr Black."

"Yeah, yeah, get in line." Sirius waved his hand and turned to Remus. "_You_ see the problem here, right?"

Remus scratched at his jaw. "Well, I suppose. You want the kiss-cam to capture equal-opportunity snogging, is that it?" His smile didn't reach his eyes, and for a split second, Sirius wanted to punch him for making jokes about this. As if sensing his anger, Remus leaned forward, jabbing at Sirius's knee with his index finger. "It doesn't work like that, Padfoot, you know it doesn't," he whispered fiercely. "You can kick and scream about it all you like, and you can watch Trevor Williams up there and know the truth, and _I _can watch him up there and know the truth, but all these people?" He paused, gesturing around at the stands. "They don't know the truth, and even if they did, they'd pretend they didn't, so whatever ideas you have in your head, get rid of them. Now." He glared at Sirius, his nostrils flaring now that he'd worked himself up, and Sirius mashed his lips together and looked away. He caught Lily turning her head away at the same time, her frown matching Remus's.

They sat in silence for the rest of the half, dutifully applauding Gryffindor goals and waving at James every time he flew by to blow Lily a kiss. After an hour of play, Gryffindor was eighty points in the lead, and they joined in the jeers against Hufflepuff, laughing with the other students around them and shouting encouragement to their House team.

Sirius slung an arm around Lily's shoulders, singing the Gryffindor House song and swaying side to side with her, as Remus shook his head and smiled.

_Come on_, he silently dared the camera. _Come get a shot of me and my girl_.

Lily didn't seem to think too much of it until he pecked her on the cheek, tightening his grip around her shoulders and nuzzling her in closer to him, and then she tilted her head to the side and glared, moving her head almost imperceptibly back and forth in a tiny gesture of, _Don't you dare_.

_Come on_, he mouthed to her, and she closed her eyes and sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

He glanced back at Remus, who was wrenched around, talking to a fifth-year boy behind them, and then he looked out at the pitch, searching for Marlene and her camera.

"Aaaaaand, another goal for Gryffindor!" the announcer sang, and the crowd erupted once again. Jumping to his feet, Sirius pulled Lily into a warm embrace, punching his fist in the air and yelling his throat dry.

_Come on_.

When they sat down again, Sirius's arms still wrapped around her, the camera finally found them.

"Oh, bugger," muttered Lily through tight lips, glancing up at the screen, and when Sirius followed her eyes, sure enough, he found the two of them projected onto the screen, larger than life. She was probably right: there couldn't be a soul in that school who actually thought they were a couple, not with James Potter declaring his love for her from the top of his lungs and down every corridor on a regular basis, so Marlene was probably just being a twat and killing herself laughing over what they were going to have to do to get out of it.

Showed how little _she_ knew.

"Don't," murmured Lily, because she always did know him better than she let on, and he bit his bottom lip and grinned at her, a mischievous, evil, purely _Marauder_ grin.

The crowd around them began to laugh and cheer, chanting their names and urging them to snog, and even the match seemed to have paused while all eyes zeroed in on the two of them. As Sirius glanced out at the pitch again, he saw James hovering in the air near one goalpost, frowning at the screen, and that was quite enough to give Sirius his last push of courage. Time for James's test, then: which kiss, to Sirius's right or left, would piss him off more?

He grinned at Lily again, and she smiled back, her eyes flashing in encouragement as she whispered under her breath, "All right, do it. He'll hate you, though."

"No, he won't," Sirius murmured back through closed lips, and as the cheers and jeers grew louder, he smiled broadly out at the pitch and the camera, released his hold on Lily and turned to his left. As if sensing what he was about to do, the grin faded from Remus's face as Sirius turned towards him. His mouth fell open and a small gasp left his lips, but just as quickly, he steeled himself; Sirius saw him do it. He pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes, tugging at Sirius's sleeve with one hand while giving one firm, near-imperceptible nod of his head.

Sirius fell a little bit further in love with him at that nod, and he grabbed Remus's face, framing it with strong hands on either side and pulling it towards him, lips parted and a laugh of triumph on his tongue.

"Oh, we're _fucked_," Remus murmured against his lips, but he too was smiling as he pulled Sirius in closer, grasping his sleeve with one hand and the front of his robes with the other. He parted his lips and let Sirius deepen the kiss, and the sound faded away a little bit, so that Sirius couldn't actually tell if the crowd had gone silent or if he just couldn't hear them anymore. Kissing Remus had that effect on him in any situation, and this one wasn't likely to be any different, he figured.

He changed the angle of his head, tilting it to the other side before moving back in to claim Remus's mouth again, and the kiss was a little bit obscene, he knew that much, especially compared to the chaste cheek-pecks of his classmates, but _sod it_. He pushed his hands up into Remus's hair and his tongue past Remus's wet lips, and Remus laughed against him, shaking with it and clutching at his robes, and Remus's groan of, _Oh, man_ was drowned again in the warmth of Sirius's mouth.

As the chatter of the crowd filtered back into his consciousness, he moved one hand away from Remus's face and lifted it out towards the camera, waving a two-fingered salute to the giant screen. He broke away from Remus at last and faced the pitch full-on, waving his two fingers around to wild applause from the crowd. Beside him, Remus rubbed his temples with his thumb and forefinger and closed his eyes, but he was fighting down a grin.

Lily laughed and shook her head, pointing across the pitch to where McGonagall was frantically trying to make her way over to Marlene, shouting and waving her arms at her to _Turn that thing off! Turn it off, I say!_ For his part, Sirius wasn't looking at McGonagall so much as Dumbledore, who had turned around in his seat and, against all odds, seemed to be giving him a rather encouraging sort of smile.

"That's my girl!" a voice called out, whizzing past them on a broomstick, and Sirius glanced up to see James soaring past, mirroring Sirius's rude hand gesture and laughing. "You'd fucking _better_ find someone else to snog, because you can't have _her_." Sirius laughed and grabbed his crotch, one-upping James in the rude gesture department.

"Order!" McGonagall's voice came booming over the pitch as she struggled with the announcer for control. "Language, Mr Potter!" She flailed her arms at the sky, while the referee attempted to get the game back on track.

As the chaos continued around them, Sirius turned back to Remus to make sure he hadn't combusted from the shock of the rule-breaking and the public snogging and, hey, the _snogging itself_, rather a specialty of Sirius's, after all, and when he found Remus watching him, his eyes dark and his lips reddened and his cheeks flushed with something other than the wind, Sirius nearly leaned in to kiss him again.

"Sorry," he said instead, schooling his face into his best puppy-dog look and smiling shyly at Remus. "I know you didn't want to tell every–"

"You stupid arse," said Remus affectionately, interrupting him with a playful shove to his shoulder. "I never said not to tell anyone; I just didn't think anyone around here would want to listen." His eyes swept around the stadium and he looked worried, but the frown melted away when he settled his gaze on Sirius again. "Guess I was wrong."

Sirius sighed. "They think it was a lark, so I wouldn't have to snog James's girl," he said, dropping his head between his shoulders as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees.

Remus shrugged. "So let them think what they think," he murmured, and Sirius leaned against him, relaxing a bit at last.

"Yeah. Okay."

"So, what else are you prepared to do to me, just to prove a point?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "In public?"

"Anywhere," said Remus with a laugh. "God. _In public_," he muttered. "Only you would say that."

"Only you would be scandalised by it."

"You haven't answered the question yet."

"Oh." Sirius thought about it. "Well, I can think of a few things."

"Yeah. I thought you might be able to."

"Do you think anyone'd notice if we left?"

"Padfoot, I think _everyone_ would notice if we left."

"Hm. Yeah." He thought about it a second longer. "Well, can you handle that?"

Remus tilted his head to the side. "Yeah. I think I can."

"Right, then. Off we go."

Their entire section of the stands hooted at them as they made their way down the row and out to the path leading away from the pitch, but Sirius couldn't be arsed to care. He already had a few ideas about what to do for that bloody camera next Quidditch match.

 

-fin-


End file.
